A Corny Joke Off!!

Unicorn

Yes but look at the US production numbers... Nebraska is actually no.3... Illinois ranks as number 2 after Iowa... Surprised me.... especially Illinois.

I always associate IOWA with hog farms.....and corn!

Sven

I always associate IOWA with hog farms.....and corn!

Funny, I always associated Iowa with the geographically confused...

I lived in California for a couple years.... Everyone seemed to think I was from Iowa no matter how many times I told them I was from Idaho. And when I occasionally corrected them they would ask... "where is that"? I would just tell them point to Canada... You will run into it.

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German went into a bar.

A singer was on stage and asked if they can see her.

They replied, "Yes, Oui, Si, Ja".

Piece of string walks into a bar.
Hey bartender can I have a beer?
Bartender says to this piece of strength hey we don't serve your kind here.
Piece of string leaves goes outside ties himself in a knot fluffs up the end of the string.
Walks back into the bar and says hey can I have a beer?
Bartender says aren't you the piece of string that was just in here?
I'm afraid knot.

FatbikerJo Bronco

Piece of string walks into a bar.
Hey bartender can I have a beer?
Bartender says to this piece of strength hey we don't serve your kind here.
Piece of string leaves goes outside ties himself in a knot fluffs up the end of the string.
Walks back into the bar and says hey can I have a beer?
Bartender says aren't you the piece of string that was just in here?
I'm afraid knot.

YES

Why did the farmer win an award?
He was outstanding in his field.

Foxtrot Bravo

Why did the farmer win an award?
He was outstanding in his field.

🤦 🤣 🐎

Bluestreak57

Wow that one took me a minute to get. that's funny.

What the difference between pink and purple?

Your grip.

So Foot, Foot-Foot, and Foot-Foot-Foot were the best of friends.
They did everything together until one day Foot took ill. So Foot-Foot and Foot-Foot-Foot took Foot to the doctor. The doctor examined Foot and then tells Foot-Foot and Foot-Foot-Foot the bad news that Foot doesn't have long to live. So Foot-Foot and Foot-Foot-Foot take Foot home and make him as comfortable as possible until one day Foot dies. Foot-Foot and Foot-Foot-Foot mourn, but they go on with their lives until one day Foot-Foot becomes ill. So Foot-Foot-Foot takes Foot-Foot to the same doctor that Foot-Foot and Foot-Foot-Foot took Foot to when Foot took ill. The doctor examines Foot-Foot and tells Foot-Foot-Foot that foot-foot is not going to make it. Foot-foot-foot says “ don’t tell me that, I already have one foot in the grave.”
🐎

Chief Ron

So Foot, Foot-Foot, and Foot-Foot-Foot were the best of friends.
They did everything together until one day Foot took ill. So Foot-Foot and Foot-Foot-Foot took Foot to the doctor. The doctor examined Foot and then tells Foot-Foot and Foot-Foot-Foot the bad news that Foot doesn't have long to live. So Foot-Foot and Foot-Foot-Foot take Foot home and make him as comfortable as possible until one day Foot dies. Foot-Foot and Foot-Foot-Foot mourn, but they go on with their lives until one day Foot-Foot becomes ill. So Foot-Foot-Foot takes Foot-Foot to the same doctor that Foot-Foot and Foot-Foot-Foot took Foot to when Foot took ill. The doctor examines Foot-Foot and tells Foot-Foot-Foot that foot-foot is not going to make it. Foot-foot-foot says “ don’t tell me that, I already have one foot in the grave.”
🐎

Oh my......LMAO

When I was a kid going to Tim Hortons coffee and just getting a coffee was a big deal cuz we lived in the sticks.
So every time my uncle would take us there was four of us and we'd all say we want donuts we want donuts.
And he'd always say the same thing you don't want those he said some _____ man has been rubbing his nuts on those.
30 years later I'm standing in line at Tim Hortons to getting a coffee look over at the desserts and what do I see?
A sign saying these products may have come in contact with nuts.
And I was like son of a b**** my uncle was right.

FatbikerJo Bronco

When I was a kid going to Tim Hortons coffee and just getting a coffee was a big deal cuz we lived in the sticks.
So every time my uncle would take us there was four of us and we'd all say we want donuts we want donuts.
And he'd always say the same thing you don't want those he said some _____ man has been rubbing his nuts on those.
30 years later I'm standing in line at Tim Hortons to getting a coffee look over at the desserts and what do I see?
A sign saying these products may have come in contact with nuts.
And I was like son of a b**** my uncle was right.

That, my friend, was a roflmfao joke…. Thanks loads….

🐎

🐎

FatbikerJo Bronco

When I was a kid going to Tim Hortons coffee and just getting a coffee was a big deal cuz we lived in the sticks.
So every time my uncle would take us there was four of us and we'd all say we want donuts we want donuts.
And he'd always say the same thing you don't want those he said some _____ man has been rubbing his nuts on those.
30 years later I'm standing in line at Tim Hortons to getting a coffee look over at the desserts and what do I see?
A sign saying these products may have come in contact with nuts.
And I was like son of a b**** my uncle was right.

Why did the Canadian cross the road?

To get to the Tim Hortons in the other side.

** non-funny response **

I'm a part time motorcycle riding instructor. We're always using 'Dad Jokes" to break the ice, make people relax, and get the group to kinda bond. We need to be careful tho, about keeping them non-offensive, kinda silly, you know - not piss off the snowflakes.

Anyway, I wanted to thank y'all for contributing to this thread. IT IS GOLD for me in the context of how I'll use this material. PERFECT! Keep'em coming!

Have you heard about that new place, "Restaurant on the Moon"?

I heard the food is great, just no atmosphere.

OK, so there's two fish in a tank, right? One of them turns to the other and asks, "So..... do you have any idea how to drive this thing?"