New England Temperature Conversion Chart
60 F: Southern Californians shiver
uncontrollably. People in New England sunbathe.
50 F: New Yorkers try to turn on
the heat. People in New England plant gardens.
40 F: Italian and English cars won't start.
People in New England drive with the windows down.
32 F: Distilled water freezes.
Maine's Moosehead Lake's water gets thicker.
20 F: Floridians don coats, thermal underwear,
gloves and wool hats. People in New England throw on a
flannel shirt.
15 F: New York
landlords finally turn up the heat. People in New England
have the last cookout before it gets cold.
0 F: All the people in Miami die. New
Englanders close the windows.
10
below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico. The Girl
Scouts in New England are selling cookies door-to-door.
25 below zero: Hollywood
disintegrates. People in New England get out their winter
coats.
40 below zero: Washington
D.C. runs out of hot air. People in New England let the
dogs sleep indoors.
100 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. New Englanders get
frustrated because they can't start their
"kahs."
460 below
zero: All atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the
Kelvin scale). People in New England start asking,
"Cold 'nuff for ya?"
500 below zero: Hell freezes over. The Red Sox
win the World Series.
