A Corny Joke Off!!

What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

"Dude, breathe!"

Why did the golfer bring two pair of pants?
Just in case he got a hole in one...

Although both of their inventions became popular amusements, the inventor of the Ferris Wheel, and the inventor of the Carousel never met. They traveled in different circles.

It was a Tuesday afternoon. It was sunny and warm. a foursome finished up the 6th hole and walked up to the 7th tee.... All was clear and the first of the four teed up. On the road to the side of the fairway a long line of cars with their headlights on approached toward the green. The lead car was a hearse. The lead golfer stops what he was doing and drops to his knee in prayer. The other three look at each other a little bewildered, shrugs were shared, as they looked on. the line of cars went on and on eventually passing. no one said anything while the first player continued to pray. After the cars had passed the first player rose to his feet crossing himself as he did.

His golfing partner declares Wow! I did not know you were so religious. You took that pretty serious. I am impressed.

and the Fist golfer responds... well we were married for 40 years.

A bear is in the forest and sees a bunny. He asks the bunny,"Does your poop stick to your fur?" The bunny says, "No." The bear picks up the bunny and wipes his ass with it!

I never joke off…momma told me I’d go blind

MIGeezer

I'm suggesting we have a corny joke contest. All jokes have to be corny, kinda like the last two I posted. No bad stuff PERIOD!! The site moderators will be the judges. Judges decision are final. We set a time frame to get your jokes submitted. The decisions are made, and there will be 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place prizes.

They can be something inexpensive. Maybe a key Jeep chain that says 1st edition Bronco Corny Joke Off Winner, etc.

Feed back NOT WELCOME!!

Since you asked for a “corny” joke…

In the corn maze, I felt like I was being stalked - it was earie!

TK1215

I never joke off…momma told me I’d go blind

Well just do it until you need glasses!

Bschurr

Since you asked for a “corny” joke…

In the corn maze, I felt like I was being stalked - it was earie!

I do not know how you could pop any more corn into that joke.

Unicorn

I do not know how you could pop any more corn into that joke.

What does corn say when it gets a compliment?
Aw, shucks!

What do you call a cat that walked across the desert?

Sandy Clause.

How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice, line the hole with peas. And when the bear bends over to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.

What did the Oak say to the Elm?
Gee I’m a tree. (Geometry)

Husband: My wife is missing. She went to rescue people from the flood yesterday and has not come home ...

Sergeant at Police Station: What is her height?

Husband: Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant: Weight?

Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant: Color of eyes?

Husband: Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.

Sergeant: Color of hair?

Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can’t remember.

Sergeant: What was she wearing?

Husband: Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly.

Sergeant: What kind of car did she go in?

Husband: She went in my Bronco.

Sergeant: What kind of Bronco was it?

Husband: (sobbing)
It's a Catus Grey 2dr 2021 First Edition 2.7 twin turbo with a Ford performance tune & Sasquatch package riding on Method 17x9 Bead Locks , LT285/70R17 Goodyear Territory Tires, 4.70 Gears, position-sensitive Bilstein shocks, locking axles front and rear, Cervini's Stalker Hood, Tinted windows , Addictive Desert Designs Off Road Front Bumper, Addictive Desert designs Off Road Rear Bumper with tire carrier, Diode Dynamics DD7447 Rock Light Stage Series RGBW under carriage lights, Seward 12" LED bumper mount Light bar, Rigid 50" LED windshield mounted Light bar , Rigid LED ditch Lights , Rock Hard Cage, Rock Hard Under Armor, RockSlide Engineering Slider steps, Anderson Composite Fenders, Road Armor skid plates , Extreme Duty Trans-Mount Cross Member, Bushwacker rear armor, Off Road Evolution "C" Gussets, Cobra 75 CB Radio, Warn 12K on Front and 8K Winch on Rear, Bartact Seat Covers, Oracle Lighting Oculus Colorshift Bi-LED Projector Headlights , Icon XD Forged HD Tie Rods, Long Control Arms Front & Rear, ARB twin compressor with under hood mount ,Zone Off-Road Bump Stops Front & Rear, Surprise Straps, Hothead Headliner, AFE street series Diff Covers, RTR aftermarket Grille, Drake Hood Latch's & a Tuffy Security Drawer......
(At this point, the sobbing has turned into a full cry.)

Sergeant: Don't worry buddy. We'll find your Bronco.

Two of my favorites are:

Q: What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?
A: One's reaaaallly heavy, and the other's a little lighter.


Q: Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows?
(the other person says "no"
A: That's strange...they've really been making headlines.

Rydfree

Husband: My wife is missing. She went to rescue people from the flood yesterday and has not come home ...

Sergeant at Police Station: What is her height?

Husband: Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant: Weight?

Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant: Color of eyes?

Husband: Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.

Sergeant: Color of hair?

Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can’t remember.

Sergeant: What was she wearing?

Husband: Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly.

Sergeant: What kind of car did she go in?

Husband: She went in my Bronco.

Sergeant: What kind of Bronco was it?

Husband: (sobbing)
It's a Catus Grey 2dr 2021 First Edition 2.7 twin turbo with a Ford performance tune & Sasquatch package riding on Method 17x9 Bead Locks , LT285/70R17 Goodyear Territory Tires, 4.70 Gears, position-sensitive Bilstein shocks, locking axles front and rear, Cervini's Stalker Hood, Tinted windows , Addictive Desert Designs Off Road Front Bumper, Addictive Desert designs Off Road Rear Bumper with tire carrier, Diode Dynamics DD7447 Rock Light Stage Series RGBW under carriage lights, Seward 12" LED bumper mount Light bar, Rigid 50" LED windshield mounted Light bar , Rigid LED ditch Lights , Rock Hard Cage, Rock Hard Under Armor, RockSlide Engineering Slider steps, Anderson Composite Fenders, Road Armor skid plates , Extreme Duty Trans-Mount Cross Member, Bushwacker rear armor, Off Road Evolution "C" Gussets, Cobra 75 CB Radio, Warn 12K on Front and 8K Winch on Rear, Bartact Seat Covers, Oracle Lighting Oculus Colorshift Bi-LED Projector Headlights , Icon XD Forged HD Tie Rods, Long Control Arms Front & Rear, ARB twin compressor with under hood mount ,Zone Off-Road Bump Stops Front & Rear, Surprise Straps, Hothead Headliner, AFE street series Diff Covers, RTR aftermarket Grille, Drake Hood Latch's & a Tuffy Security Drawer......
(At this point, the sobbing has turned into a full cry.)

Sergeant: Don't worry buddy. We'll find your Bronco.

My wife didn't like that joke. I don't think... wait, well maybe. I laughing so hard I didn't really hear her.

Farmer joke.....Farmer joke.......

Why did the tomato blush? 🍅 🍅 🍅



......It saw salad dressing!!! 😝

A book on marriage said , “To rekindle romance, the next time you go out, treat her like you did on your first date.”

…..so, the next time I took her out to eat, I dropped her off afterwards at her parents house.

I've got a new job I'm a momback. i stand at the back of the truck and say momback, momback.......